Posts Tagged ‘marriage’

Obsessed

ringNext week, we will celebrate our three year anniversary.  Over the past year or so, I’ve thought a lot about marriage from time-to-time.  We’ve had some rough spots during our relationship–some REALLY rough spots.  But, mostly, we’ve been sharing a wonderful life together.

We’ve talked about marriage, but we seem to have differening views.  I’m for it, where he isn’t quite as sure.  Sometimes I think it’s mostly because our financial situation could be better, other times, I just don’t know.

If it is only finances holding him back, I don’t think it should.  Here are my reasons:

  • I don’t want/need a big, expensive ring
  • My ideal ceremony would take place on the beach, with our parents, our kids, and our closest friends (ie:  no major cost involved there that I can see).  The simpler the better as far as I’m concerned.  The point of it is us, not impressing anyone, having a big party, or fancy food.  Pledging our love to each other, with the people we care about around us, in the most beautiful place on earth=perfection.
  • A reception?  Yes, I’d like one of those, but, again, nothing wild and crazy.  Hell, a barbecue in our backyard sounds like fun to me!  Casual, relaxed, spending time with the people who really matter to us…what could be better??
  • As for a honeymoon, maybe someday.  Sure it would be nice to take a trip and get away from it all for a while.  But, who says it has to be right now?  I’m happy being with him, no matter where we are!
  • We live together, so nothing would really change afterward either.  In fact, it may improve our tax situation!  LOL!

I love him with all my heart and soul, and I love our life together.  Being married won’t change that.  Why am I so obsessed with the idea lately?  Am I just old-fashioned, and believe that’s the next logical step?

I’ve told him all of this at one time or another.  But, I try not to dwell on it because I feel like I’d be trying to convince him, or talk him into it, and I don’t want that.  As I said to him the last time we discussed marriage, I also wouldn’t want him to propose just to try to make me happy either.  We both deserve better than that.

I’ve been divorced since May of last year, not that that matters to me, but maybe it does to him?  In all honesty though, I was not married to my ex, in any sense but legally, for much longer than that.

I was hoping by writing this it would purge my mind of this freaking obsession, but, so far, that hasn’t happened.  *sigh*

STBX Slam Ahead!

My STBX (soon-to-be-ex)–not nearly soon enough!–is being a total ASS!  (You can find some background on this bullshit here, here, here, and, last but not least, here.

He is under the impression that I should leave a 20-year marriage with nothing more than my clothing.  He is SO.  FREAKING. WRONG!

This man verbally and emotionally abused me for years, and I finally found the courage to leave him.  And he’s still trying to dictate how things will go.  I don’t think so! 

I have no problem with him keeping the house (I moved out because he wouldn’t and I had to escape.), and most of the contents in it.  He keeps asking me to sign a quick deed release (think that’s what it’s called) on the house.  And I’m supposed to just do it and walk away from a $100,000+ house with NOTHING?!  Again, I think NOT!

Unfortunately, he’s got one HUGE advantage over me:  He can afford to pay a lawyer, and I cannot.

I really, REALLY want the divorce to be final (and to be FREE of that SOB!), but I just can’t allow him to bully me (yet again) into having it all his way.

Either he doesn’t realize that it’s costing him a lot more to stay married to me than it would be to write a check and get the papers signed, or he’s just THAT freaking stubborn!

I’m going to suggest another settlement offer to him today (and I’m going to point out the fact that it’s costing him money to drag this out), but I won’t hold my breath.

Till next time…